O Death, Where is Your Sting?

I still find it ironic that in a culture obsessed with death, most humans go to great lengths to avoid thinking or talking about our own mortality and the reality that at some point we will die (not “kick the bucket”, “pass on”, “look at the wrong side of dirt”, or any other euphemism – die!). As our Lenten journey begins to come to a close, it is incumbent on me to, once again, remind us all that, as faithful Christians, we should not be afraid of death AND we should be prepared for it.

Because death is the ultimate unknown (although I have a firm belief in what is next!), many attempt to quell a sense of fear by making fun of death (you can’t take it with you!), on the one hand, or glorifying it (practically every horror movie ever made), on the other. My personal preference is to be realistic. 

Someday I will die.  I don’t know when, but I hope it is many, many years from now.  In the meantime, I will live my life to the fullest and do my part to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible.  This is so that (God willing) my latter years are not spent in misery with physical ailments that I could have avoided.  But that doesn’t mean I will get angry with God if I am, one day, diagnosed with cancer (I have enough family history that that is a distinct possibility, but I don’t dwell on it).  As we look toward the mystery of the Resurrection, we Christians believe that death no longer has any power over us.  We are free to live without fear because death is not the end.

And yet it is the end of our earthly presence. The loss for those still on earth is real and painful, especially if the death was sudden, unexpected or tragic.  The balm of knowing our loved one is in God’s nearer presence may, at times, feel like only a platitude – and that is OK.  We never really “get over” the death of a loved one.  It is a wound that doesn’t heal all the way. But we remember that even the Resurrected Christ had bodily wounds.  They are a testament to our lives and are a part of who we are.  Time can offer perspective, but never complete distance.  It is important to mourn – not to the point of losing ourselves, but at least allowing ourselves to be redefined and then living into that new identity.

At the same time, we can help our loved ones by doing the important work of preparing for our own death.  Everyone 18 years of age and older should have some form of a Last Will and Testament.  Yes, even someone with no property or progeny needs to make their final wishes known.  It is also important to consider a “Living Will” or an Advance Directive that will let your loved one’s know your desires if you are unable to speak for yourself, such as what efforts you want to be made to be kept alive and if you want to be an organ donor.  Making such wishes know helps avoid confusion and disagreements in the midst of difficult situations and all are comforted by know your wishes are followed.  You can even consider planning your funeral service – what readings and music you want (or what you absolutely do not want!). It may seem like a small thing, but it is huge help to your family and friends.

Finally, it is crucial that whatever documents you have are in a safe, known place that is accessible. I suggest a fire-proof safe to keep all important papers, but make sure you know where the key is and give another key to SOMEONE ELSE who keeps it in a safe place.  If you decide to put such items in a safety deposit box, make sure someone can access it without you present.

Morality is part of our human experience.  I pray you can explore its true meaning without fear and with thanksgiving for God’s unending presence in our lives.

Happy Lent,

Rev. Valerie+