Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (Matt 5:4)

I was shocked to read the news on Sunday that Kobe Bryant was killed in a helicopter accident.  My heart broke further when I saw that his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, had also been killed.  As the story developed and it was reported that all 9 people on board were killed, I stopped what I was doing and said a prayer for all the families that were devastated by this event.

On Tuesday, I learned that two of the victims were Sarah and Payton Chester, mother and daughter.  Payton was on the same basketball team as Gianna and she was a student at St. Margaret’s Episcopal School in San Juan Capistrano.  Sarah was a trustee at the school.

I didn’t know the Chesters any more than I knew Kobe Bryant, but they were members of our tribe – the Episcopal tribe.  I knew millions of people (who didn’t know Kobe any better than I did, but felt like they did) were mourning the loss of a sports icon, but his loss is no more tragic than the loss of those who were less well known.  In fact, I think most might believe that the loss of the teenagers is the worst part of this tragedy because they died so young.

I do not accept that this was God’s will or have any time to consider that such an accident was part of God’s plan.  No, this was a horrible accident.  Using our time and energy to assign blame is just a way to avoid the painful reality that these families are facing – one we all hope and pray we do not have to deal with ourselves.

I pray that all who are grief stricken by this event have some faith to turn to.  I do believe Jesus’s words from Matthew – that those who mourn will be comforted.  All grief is painful and, unfortunately, our secular culture wants to teach us that pain is bad and should be avoided at all costs.  Hence, people turn to ways of suppressing the pain, like drugs and alcohol, or avoiding it by activities, like shopping or dangerous behavior.  The result is that the grief is still there, like an unhealed wound.

The pain isn’t necessarily lessened because of faith, but we have a way to approach it.  We know that God loves us and mourns with us.  God’s only child was killed on a cross; of course God understands loss and grief.  We cannot experience the joy of Easter Sunday without enduring the pain and grief of Good Friday. We must be in that terrible place of loss, we must grieve, or we cannot know the presence of God’s comfort. 

The hard reality of a tragic loss like this is that it will take years (some studies suggest at least 7 years) for their loved ones to feel like their grief is not all consuming.  They need support in many forms, including prayer.  They need space to feel sad and to know that it is ok (which is true for all of us who have lost a loved one). And they need comfort, for which I hope they turn to Jesus and those of us who share his love for others, even those we don’t know.

None of us want to imagine the unimaginable. I do hope no one reading this will have to endue such an event in your life. However, I ask you to consider if your faith is strong enough to endue it. Thanks be to God if it is.  If you are unsure, that is ok too.  It means you have an opportunity to get to know God better through prayer and reflection.  And you are welcome to come talk with me about any questions you may have.

Grant them eternal rest, O Lord, and let light perpetual shine upon them. May their souls, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.