Making Final Arrangements

It is something we prefer not to think about, and often avoid the subject all together because it makes us uncomfortable, or there might be a better time to do it later, or . . . The TRUTH is we will all die one day.  It is what our mortal bodies are made to do. It is the natural end to life, yet it is still shrouded with mystery and sadness, which is why we are so good at avoiding the topic or distracting ourselves with life and all its activities.

I can tell you from personal experience that when death happens, it interrupts all our regularly scheduled plans, even if the death is expected, even welcomed.   The reality that a loved one is gone changes life. But what makes that moment easier to deal with is KNOWING what arrangements our loved one wanted.

As the Church begins our annual remembrance of Jesus’ passion and death during Holy Week, it is a good time to think about our own death and what arrangements we want.  This is not a morbid fascination with death, but acknowledging the frailty of our lives, the gift life is, and how we can honor it and our families by being clear about our final plans.  EVERY adult over the age of 18 should have some plan, whether that includes organ/tissue donation or body donation to research, to cremation or full-body burial. You should also consider where you want to buried, if you want to be buried, or if you want your ashes scattered some place important to you.

Additional, you should also have a Last Will and Testament, which should be updated every 5 years or as your circumstances change (marriage, new child or grandchild, acquisition or sale of property, etc.).  This will help your loved ones know what you want done with your earthly assets and perhaps avoid probate.  You may also want to consider a Living Will (sometimes known as an Advance Directive) that allows you to state what you want done if you are in a position when you cannot speak for yourself, such as life –prolonging medical procedures (respirator, feeding tube, etc.).  You can find such at document at http://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php.

You can even choose what readings and hymns you would like to have at your funeral.  That way you know that your friends and family will not have the stress of trying to remember what your favorite hymn was or what Psalm you want read.  I have a planning sheet for a funeral that I will be happy to share with you, or if you would like to sit and talk about any of the arrangements I mentioned in this article, I would be honored to do that as well.

Even though death is a subject most of us do not want to think about ever, the reality is that changes can be made to these plans whenever you want – but something is better than nothing.  Advanced planning is perhaps the best gift you can give to your family.  In a time of grief, it is a relief not to have to make all the decisions.   Make the time to make your final arrangements, write up a Will, or, if you are not sure where to start, come and talk with me.  As Christians, we should not be afraid of death, but we should be prepared for it.  Let us make our preparations.

With Holy Week Blessings,

Rev. Valerie+