Death and Taxes

Because April 15th – the day our federal income taxes are due - was on a Saturday this year and Easter was that Sunday, we got a reprieve for a couple of days. I made an ill attempt at humor in my Easter Sermons about this reprieve, saying that while both death and taxes are inevitable, at least we don’t have to worry about them until Tuesday.

The other truth about death and taxes is that they both need to be planned for.  Many spend lots of time, energy and even money to owe less in taxes, but few use any resources to plan for death.  It is understandable.  It is not a pleasant subject and there is always something else that seems more pressing – that sock drawer won’t organize itself!  And yet we do a disservice to our loved ones when they are left to make decisions that they may feel ill-qualified to do or create tension when opinions differ within the family of what should happen.

National Healthcare Decisions week was April 16-22, the 1st week of Easter, and I’m disappointed I let it pass by without acknowledging it.  It was at a very appropriate time, when Christians celebrate Christ’s triumphant victory over death.  And as I have said before, as Christians we should not be afraid of our physical death, but we should be prepared for it.  We do that by making the time to have those difficult discussions about end of life issues and making plans.

As soon as one turns 18, you have the ability to choose to be an organ donor by checking a box on your driver’s license application.  It is a great first step to thinking about how a tragedy could become a blessing, if the situation ever happens.  However, you should also tell your family about it.  Let them know you consciously have made that decision and it is what YOU want, because they will still be asked to sign the forms at a time of great difficulty.

I also believe everyone over 18 should have some form of Advanced Directive, or a Living Will.  I have found the Five Wishes booklet from Aging with Dignity to be an excellent resource to allow you to consider 5 different medical situations when you may not be able to advocate for yourself.  By appointing a Health Care Advocate, that person can ensure your wishes are followed.  If witnessed by two people other than the appointed Advocate, it is a legal document in the State of New Jersey.  There are copies of this document available in the Welcoming Area.  You can also complete an on-line version at www.agingwithdignity.org for $5.

A Will is also an important document that allows for the distribution of your earthly possessions once you die.  This is most important for people with families and property to, hopefully, avoid legal battles of who gets what.  This is also an opportunity to give gifts to various organizations and institutions, like your church. It is best that this document be drawn up by a lawyer and kept up to date (every 5 years), especially as life circumstances change.  If you have young children, it is important to name a guardian just in case!  No one wants to think the worst, but it is better to have a plan.

Finally, make plans for what you want done with your body and how you want people to celebrate your life.  Do you want to donate your body, be cremated, or buried?  How much do you want to spend onan urn or casket? Where do you want your remains to be placed?  Do you want a viewing? Where and when?  Note you can have a viewing and then be cremated.  Some or all of your funeral arrangements can be made and paid for prior to your death, which is a help for your loved ones
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Similarly, you can plan your funeral service as well.  You can choose the hymns and readings and even who will do what at that service.  This can be done in the Five Wishes document, or you can talk with me and I can help you with it as well.  A funeral is normally a Eucharist with the remains present in the church. A memorial is essentially the same service without the remains. 

Please take the time to make some of these plans.  It will be a gift without price if and when they are needed.

With Easter Joy,

Rev. Valerie+

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