Turkey and Tears

With Thanksgiving only a week away, it might be surprising for some to hear Sunday’s Gospel lesson from the twenty-third chapter of Luke. While turkey, pumpkin pie and football predominate our thoughts and TVs, there is Jesus being crucified.  Huh?  That seems a bit out of sync – because it is.  This Sunday is known as “Christ the King Sunday,” when the Church remembers (as I did a week ago) that Jesus is still Lord of all.  And yet sometimes we forget that to claim that title, Jesus died from a brutal, state-sponsored execution – by crucifixion.

Good Friday is not the only day of the year when we need – and should – contemplate the sacrifice that Jesus made for us by his death on the cross.  As the hymn says, with “signs of ending all around us” (WLP 721) the latter days of autumn offer a special opportunity for us to consider Jesus’ death; just his death.  Even more, we need to be honest about our feelings about his death.

Too often in our culture, we sidestep the reality of death by talking about it euphemistically or not at all.  He “passed on.” She “went home.” She’s “at peace.” He’s “receiving his reward.” These supposed words of comfort deny the stark reality that the person is gone from our lives.  We cannot see, hear or feel that person in a physical form any more.  And that is painful and sad.  Too often we want to cover those hard feelings up or move past it, but if we do, we deny the truth.  The truth not only sets us free, but it also convicts us if we ignore it.  Moving too quickly through grief is not good.  We need to be sad and angry and lonely and upset.  These are all honest feelings and they need to be expressed.

What most people don’t do well is offering opportunities for people in mourning to express their feelings.  Many feel shame for crying or laughing or wanting to punch something.  There should be no shame or guilt.  Nor should there be a desire to move through those feelings too quickly.  A “brave space” is where emotions can be felt and shared without judgement or recrimination.  It also offers the gift of time, because grief is not on a time line and we need to take the time to grieve.

Jesus’ disciples had many warnings that his death was coming, but they did not want to hear or accept that reality.  They scattered on the day and Jesus was left on the cross mostly alone.  No one wants to die alone, and in some strange, non-linear way of thinking, Jesus does not die alone whenever we bear witness to his death.  

No, we don’t want to focus on it, but it is a crucial part of the story and one we need to pay attention to, especially in light of our own grief and how we deal, or don’t, deal with it.We need to be brave in allowing ourselves and others the space needed to grieve, whether that is over coffee or even the Thanksgiving table where someone’s chair is empty.  Joy and sorrow are not mutually exclusive.  We can laugh and cry at the same time, knowing both expressions are honest in themselves.  We can kneel at the foot of the cross, knowing that Jesus freely gave himself to be there, feeling the pain of his suffer and the strength of his love. It is a raw, honest place where truth resides. 

I pray that we can be a faithful community of disciples that are not intimidated by death or despair but are willing to offer a brave space for each other to be honest.  That is where health and salvation begin – at the foot of the cross.

In Christ,

Rev. Valerie+

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